Post by ItachiRockstar on Oct 12, 2008 22:13:33 GMT -6
Hidan
Black Cloaks, Red Clouds, Purple Nail Polish
It was finally quiet in the Akatsuki household. The leader was in his room supposedly plotting something big because he sent Itachi and Kisame off to gather information and Sasori and Deidara to go find someone. Kazuku and Hidan were somewhere around. You were channel surfing in the living room when Tobi ran in, excited.
"(Y/n)! Tobi has an idea!" He hopped around.
"Uh...idea?" Your eyes got big, "As long as it doesn't involve explosive clay or Velveeta, I'm in."
"Bake a cake with Tobi!" He clapped his hands together. Oddly enough, you didn't see how that could possibly go wrong.
You shrugged. "Sure." You followed Tobi into the kitchen and found Hidan already in there cooking dinner: homemade pizza. He was very serious about his cooking; he refused to cook without wearing his infamous "Kiss the Cook" apron.
"Hidan, Tobi and (y/n) are going to bake a cake. Do you want to help?" Tobi asked while looking in the refrigerator for eggs.
"Yeah...we might need supervision." You added, thinking of the melted cheese incident. Who knew Velveeta was so hard to get off of your cloaks?
Hidan scoffed, "Jashin would surely curse me if I did anything with you two idiots. " He turned to walk out of the kitchen. He looked over his shoulder at you two. "Do not fuck up my kitchen. I'll be back to get my pizzas out of the oven." Then he was gone.
"Why does he have such a foul mouth?" You wondered out loud. He was always saying things like that, especially to you and Tobi.
"Hidan must be on his 'period' like Konan. She never leaves her room." Tobi answered pulling out a big mixing bowl.
You laughed and pulled out the cake mix and vegetable oil. "Maybe."
You helped Tobi measure all of the ingredients then began to clean up. "Okay, Tobi, mix it all together while I prep the cake pan and oven."
"Okay!" Tobi began dumping the ingredients into the bowl. Of course you had to stop and show him how to crack the eggs open neatly. Once he found a mixing spoon and had started mixing, you turned back to the oven. You turned the oven on to 350 degrees and poured a little oil on the pan's bottom and sprinkled it with flour. So far, nothing had gone terribly wrong.
"(Y/n)?"
"Yeah?" You answered unconsciously, tilting the pan to get the mixture to spread evenly, killing time.
"This is taking Tobi too long. Isn't there another way Tobi can mix the cake?"
"Uh...yeah." You bit your lip while thinking. "Just use the mixer."
"Ohh...okay!"
Hidan came back and pulled his pizzas out of the oven, setting them on the counter. He found a pizza cutter and started to slice them. You finally finished playing with the cake pan and put it in the oven to heat up. You turned back to Tobi and your jaw dropped.
"TOBI, NOOO--"
He had poured the batter into the blender instead of getting out the mixer. Worse, since there was so much batter, it didn't all fit into the blender leading Tobi to come to the conclusion that he couldn't put the top on it. He pressed the liquefy setting.
WHIIIIRRR--SPLAT!
You blinked several times in disbelief. Cake batter was EVERYWHERE.
"Oops...Tobi made a mess." Tobi lifted his batter covered hand to scratch his batter covered head.
"TOBI!" You screamed. Your hands automatically went around his throat, and you proceeded to shake and strangle him. "What in the world would possess you to do that?! This is a freaking repeat of the melted cheese incident all over again!"
"But...Tobi...is...sorry!" He choked out. You let him go and gave him a deadly glare.
"Now we have to clean this up! You're lucky no one was in here this time or we'd be cleaning cloaks again, too!"
A high pitched voice choked with tears spoke from behind you. "My pizzas..."
You both froze then turned to see Hidan looking down at his beloved pizzas with tears in his eyes. Both he and his pizzas were now coved with cake batter.
"Uh-oh." You whispered.
Hidan turned to you, "In the name of Jashin, you little bastards will pay dearly."
Tobi tilted his head to the side then began to giggle.
"What's so funny?!" Hidan demanded.
Tobi pointed to his apron. "It says 'Kiss the Cock'!" He started laughing harder.
You looked and sure enough, white cake batter partially covered up the second black 'o' so it read "cock". You bit your lip and tried not to laugh. You were doing great until...
"Hey, Hidan, I didn't know that you were a cock!"
You laughed so hard tears came to your eyes as you doubled over, hands on your knees. You tried to stand up straight but slipped in the batter and ended up leaning on Tobi.
"Oh my God! 'Kiss the cock'!" You howled with tears streaming down your cheeks while holding your sides.
"Hey, (y/n). Do you want to 'kiss the cock'?" Tobi asked then laughed some more. You stopped laughing abruptly and slapped Tobi in the back of his head.
"Ew!" You frowned, making a disgusted face.
"What? You don't want to kiss a chicken?" Tobi looked at you rubbing his head.
"Chicken?" You looked at him puzzled. "Ohhhh, that cock! Oh..."
"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU BOTH!" Hidan yelled. His face was slowly turning red, like a strawberry.
"Hidan," You said seriously, "You should calm down. You look a bit fruity."
"Fruity?!" His eyes bugged out. He then whipped out his three blade scythe, eyes blazing with a supernatural anger. He let out a battle cry and raised his weapon, preparing to strike.
You and Tobi grabbed each other and screamed like eight year old girl scouts. In one moment of clarity, you pushed Tobi away from you and you both moved out of Hidan's way. Due to the batter on the floor, you managed to slide straight out of the kitchen. You heard Tobi scream and it was suddenly cut off.
"Tobi!" You cried but kept running. You would miss Tobi...later. As you ran down the hall, you desperately thought of a place to hide. 'Kisame's room!'
You opened the door and quietly shut it behind you then hid inside of his closet. Seconds seemed to drag by like minutes and you got restless.
"I FOUND YOU!" Hidan yelled as the closet door flew open. You screamed and before you could do anything, he grabbed you by your collar and yanked you up to your feet. "Now you die."
"Oh no no no...no no no no..." You shook your head frantically, eyes filled with chibi tears. "Don't kill me."
He looked at your pathetic-ness and sighed. "Fine. Under one condition."
"Name it. Anything." You opened your eyes.
"I'm willing to trade your life...for a kiss." He whispered.
You stared in disbelief. "For a what?"
"A kiss."
"Why a kiss?"
"I...don't know what it's like. I want to know and you will show me." His eyes flashed dangerously. Considering that he was practically letting you get away with murder, you shrugged.
"Deal."
He let you go and you tugged your cake covered cloak off. Holding it with one hand, you used the other to grab his cloak and pull him down to your range. You stood up on your toes and pressed a kiss to his surprisingly warm lips. He allowed this touch for a few seconds then pulled away. "I'm going to go pray...I think I need to be forgiven for this sin."
He disappeared, leaving you to wonder how someone who had never been kissed before had incredibly soft lips.
